Baseball Faith

Faith

One of the consequences of a young life with a scarcity of affirmation and full of emotional injury, is that your mind is wired to constantly question yourself. It is a form of mental torture that requires strength of mind to rebuff.

When your low self esteem keeps those curve balls coming, it takes some inner grit to keep stepping up to the plate and knocking them out the park. Because, questioning every sentence that comes out of your mouth, revisiting conversations over and over again, sure that you put your foot in it, said something that made you look a fool, that irritated your friends. Every time. Questioning yourself. It. Is. Exhausting. But you’ve got to fight it, you can fight it.

You’ve got to find a place where you can know with certainty that you have strengths and wonderful qualities. That needs to be non negotiable. But even more powerful than that is knowing the source of your identity. Knowing that it doesn’t matter if you screw up, if you fumble, if you’re off centre, if you’re not on form. It doesn’t even matter if you’re in a jail cell or if you’re a CEO, if you’re desired or rejected by people. It doesn’t matter.

Because in Jesus, you are accepted. You are seen. You are known. And you are deeply loved. Not because of anything you have done or not done, but simply because he knows who he created you to be and he loves you. His love has the strength to step up to the plate with you and adding his power to your swing, helps you hit the home runs you need.

We Can Trust Him

Faith, Poetry

I’ve come to loathe negative “I am” statements…

I am where I am

I’ve been where I’ve been

No amount of striving is going to rewrite my history or quick fix my flaws

My mind has succumbed too many times to the visible and invisible taunts of worthlessness

Inflicted by self, by careless words in well meaning mouths or downright spat out with spite by people also lost inside their own mental health plights

Mine is a life potholed by moments of rejection which have so often threatened to incapacitate my person

But greater than any rejection is my confidence that I am accepted, by God no less, and who would argue with him?!

The devil is who and he’ll make you believe that God hates you, but there is absolutely no foundation or slither of truth there

So I’ve started asking a different question, not who do I say I am

But I ask who does God say I am and I choose to believe it, regardless of feelings

The power in truth is no hippy notion of filling our lives with physical satisfactions which are only fleeting distractions

I have found the power in truth, is that, spoken out loud and chosen inside it begins to uproot the lies that degrade our lives and in its place grows a tree of life

Irrevocable value takes root

It forms a system in my heart that holds together the banks that previously threatened to fall apart

Each root a whisper from heaven writing a love song in the depths of my soul

You are forgiven, you are loved, you are accepted, you are protected, you are redeemed, you are worthy of love, you were seen before you were conceived, you were held in the womb, you are treasured, you have a purpose and that purpose is to be known and loved and to know and love your Creator, you have a God given right to be alive just as you are right now

Because His love isn’t forceful but it is a force, His grace takes you on a journey to freedom without guilt

He celebrates you in the light of Jesus

He, the Holy Spirit, is the greatest of counsellors leading us alongside gentle waters and green pastures, even when storms are raging overhead he’ll help us find rest amidst the maelstrom and give us power to command its stillness

God knows we’re not perfect and doesn’t expect it, but he also knows that being in his presence will help us navigate the mines in our mind fields

Fear cannot exist where perfect love is

So I choose to see myself through the lense of his love

I am not lost, I’m found and this pavement of peace that I walk on is hedged in by grace

No one is lost in the light of his love, we can trust him